This Stops 97% of Christian Singles From Getting Married
For many single Christians, the thought of finding a lifelong companion is one with hope and anticipation. Finding Mr. or Mrs. Right is a mile marker in life with great significance, changing the course of walking solo to having two people join hands and hearts for the rest of the journey.
God speaks about marriage as a good thing. Proverbs 18:22 says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.” While this is spoken of women, many happily married ladies can attest to the fact that finding a husband is also a good thing. Additionally, Genesis 2:18 says, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Marriage is a beautiful thing and a blessing from the Lord.
Why do so many Christian singles we remain unmarried?
With that being so, why do so many Christian singles who desire to find a spouse remain unmarried? Christian dating sites have opened up greater opportunities to meet compatible Christian singles, but some who have ventured out to try finding a companion through a Christian dating site don’t realize there are necessary actions that will massively improve their success rates making Christian friends and eventually meeting their Christian match.
Meet your Christian match online.
There is striking difference with how much success some single Christians have on Christian dating sites and how little others, success when it comes to online dating has a lot do with profile quality . The information below can help you determine if your own profile needs some touching up. Additionally, communication and interaction often lack what is necessary for successful relationships. We would like to talk about these areas.
1. Many online dating profiles lack of time and effort. Successfully finding a lifetime companion is much more than sharing a photo and telling a few prospective suitors or suitresses about your favorite color and breed of dog. When you are looking for a Christian match or the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, let your profile give a glimpse into your personality, your beliefs, your goals, and what you are looking for in a companion.
Vague profiles can bring in many messages, but it can be tiresome and discouraging to waste time on prospects that you will not be compatible with. While opposites often attract and similarities are not always a determining factor, you can eliminate some communications that will become dead ends, such as if you are adamant about marrying within your own faith. Are you just looking for friends or a serious relationship leading to marriage? Be specific about this!
When you are reaching out to others, effort is necessary in this area as well. The point of messaging someone is to get to know them better. If you wait three weeks to respond to each message sent to you, it is very difficult to even get communication off the ground. Put forth the effort that matches your true desire for finding your lifelong companion.
Not enough time is taken to get to know other Christian singles.
2. Once communication begins with you and your prospective companion, it can be tempting to rush things when you really “hit it off” with someone from the beginning. Unfortunately, whirlwind romances that marry too quickly often end in divorce. Don’t be in such a rush that you miss the opportunity to open up conversations with a few people. Take some time to get to know single Christians better.
Marriage is meant to be for a lifetime.
It’s important to remember that marriage is meant to be for a lifetime. That entails 40, 50, 60, or maybe even 70 years of being together with the one you marry. Looking at the grand scope of that commitment, taking a year or so to learn about each other before saying “I do” is not too long of a wait.
One of the greatest things to come from marriage is children. While people change and there are no guarantees, you are performing a loving act for your future children when you carefully choose your future spouse and your child’s future parent. Broken homes are heartbreaking, and the pain is multiplied when babies are involved.
Make choices that you will love for the rest of your life!
None of this is said to discourage you, but rather to encourage you to make choices that you will love for the rest of your life! You are worth it! There is someone out there who is looking for all you have to offer, and that someone has the qualities you desire as well!
Take time to know who you are communicating with. Know the important details about his/her personality and beliefs. Begin by seeing if the fruit of the Spirit is active in their lives: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance…” Galatians 5:22-23
Other important things to learn about and discuss with your potential spouse are:
1)Church habits. How important is the Christian walk to him/her? How often does he/she attend services? Will you attend services together, or go to separate churches?
2)Children. How many children would he/she like to have? Will the children be raised in a church? If you attend separate churches, which one will the children attend? Are there children from a previous relationship? With whom will they stay? Are these children accepting of you or of your future spouse?
3)Family. What is his/her relationship with family? Will new boundaries need to be set with future in-laws? An example would be if his/her family stopped by to visit five nights every week, or if his/her mother is too intrusive about personal matters.
4)Politics. Do you have the same political views? If not, how important are politics to you? Does it cause tension in your relationship?
5)Friends. What are his/her friends like? Are they a positive or negative influence on your future spouse? Are at least some of them faithful Christians? How often do they currently get together or go out? Will that change when you get married?
6)Money. Who will take care of the bills? Are both of you expected to work? Do both of you live by a budget, neither of you lives by a budget, or one of you lives by a budget? Will that change when you marry? If one of you wants to go to college or another type of schooling, can one of you support your family, or will both be expected to work?
7)Family goals. Will you own a home or rent? How close will you live to family? How does each of you feel about pets?
8)Personal goals. Do you both have them? Can you support each other’s personal goals?
9)Self-awareness and maturity. Are you dating an adult with a sense of responsibility? Or a child, that is full of fantasy, with a strong sense of entitlement in the body of an adult? When things do not go as planned, do they take ownership or do they blame everything and everyone else?
10)Honesty. ‘’Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.’’ (Exodus 20:16) How honest is he or she? Do you catch him or her in little lies? If you do, there are probably lots of lies that you do not even know about… yet. Do they keep secrets from you? Are there after a few month of being in a relationship, things that they still do not want to talk about?
11)Love. ‘Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.’ Ephesians 5:33. Does he or she bear you up? Is your significant other supportive of your goals and aspirations? Do they on a regular basis express love and admiration? Are they concerned with your well being? Do you truly feel like equals before the Lord? Or is there rivalry? Belittling? Constant criticizing?
Dating: Do like Italian or Mexican food better?
You’ve probably noticed that the questions above have little to do with whether or not you are shy, or if you are an adventurous person, or if you like Italian or Mexican food better. Personalities are often attracted to something different from themselves, and there is no problem with that. Real issues come up when core ideas and beliefs cannot agree. The above list covers many areas that can be overlooked when dating, but become the center focuses once you are married!
While there can be wiggle room, and there should be compromises when blending two lives together, not everything is negotiable. The importance of knowing the deeper details cannot be stressed enough. The more you know about your possible future spouse, the better prepared and more informed you are when entering marriage. While you may not understand the emphasis on
knowing the deeper details, married people across the globe can assure you that you will understand as time goes by.
When your online Christian match becomes serious enough to meet in person, you need to see your potential spouse in social situations. Watch how he/she reacts and handles things when he/she is angry. Is the fruit of the Spirit still active when dealing with cashiers, waiters, and family members? Are their hygiene and home cleanliness something you are comfortable with? IS their daily routine something you could live with?
Honestly with yourself about your feelings and potential spouse will save you years of frustration and heartache.
Past relationship issues.
Many Christian singles looking for a Christian match, have had prior relationship experience, not all of these experiences were positive. Some relationships fail because past hurts cannot be forgotten. When you’ve been hurt deeply, it’s hard to put that pain in the past. Many people leave a toxic relationship in the past, but continue to carry the past arguments, offenses, hurtful words, and agonizing conversations with them when trying to start over.
Once you become accustomed to being treated or talked to a certain way, words and actions can trigger the feelings you dealt with in the past. Those triggers can cause you to act out toward others, making them suffer for a wrong that was done to you, even though they had no involvement in it. Allow the past to show you what is unacceptable for your future, but don’t allow it to block the good things waiting for you.
If this describes you, because you are here, we’re going to presume you want to find love once again. That alone is an act of faith and hope. Let us encourage you to let God heal your brokenness as you begin a new chapter in your life. When handled with prayer and honest consideration (taking the time to know them) for potential prospects, healing and hope will come alive in your life.
The Word of God is relevant still today, and it is still not good for man to be alone! We hope this article encourages you in your endeavors with those you may connect with, and that it gives you greater direction in finding a companion that will be a blessing for you. IF you have not already done so, please feel free to create profile here at TwoChristian.com. TwoChristian.com is one of the best Christian dating sites, is privately owned and fully managed by fellow Christians
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